Hilarious Jokes The Drunk Man

Two men were sitting at a pub and get pretty drunk. Out of the corner of the first man's eye, he sees a beautiful young woman.
"I'd love to dance with that." the first man stated.
"Why don't you go and ask her then?" the second replies as he nudges him forward.
The first man walks up to the woman and says, "Would you be so kind as to dance with me?"
The woman replies, "Sorry, I'm concentrating on matrimony and would rather sit than dance."
The first man walks back to his friend dejectedly.
"So what did she say?" he interrogated.
The first man replied, "She said that she was constipated on macaroni and would rather sh*t in her pants."